What Happens On A Random Sunday (Actually It's Easter Sunday 2010)!

Music: Chrono Cross - Radical Dreamers
Mood: Great
Random Note: It's getting cold around here FINALLY!

Got up in the morning and fixed myself some breakfast and coffee. I did also catch up on much of the episodes of Chuck SE3 and the current Supernatural SE5!

I love series, they create good momentary periods for you to get your mind off stuff and just learn to live the moment you were in (even imagine how they would actually fit into your life's cliche xD).

I'm actually feeling quite down to earth today. I realised I still haven't done some of the things I've wanted to do, and shall get to it once I am finshed here.

I realised that the human mind is a very powerful tool for one thing: if you keep tellling yourself that you can do it and believe that you are actually doing something, you can get to it. It's like telling yourself a lie over and over again; eventually you'll believe that it's true and things will work out.

Feelings on the other hand, tends to take place on the side of irrationality. It drives a person to perform irrational decisions, and then end up having to face the consequences after that. I know I have a weak spot for such things: friends, family, relationships...it isn't difficult to strike me down if you know me well enough.

Therefore, I'm hoping to work towards becoming a person who sees things as they are and not having to read too much into what the heart feels. Kinda like blocking out what your heart tells you to do, and just doing the bare essentials to keep surviving. Getting too emotionally attached doesn't help (for my record) to get things going and may even end up ruining other people's goals and dreams.

I often wonder what is it that made me who I am. Where is it that I found all that energy and effort to give to people around me? As of now, I am actually proud to say that I do not know and probably do not care what the answer is anymore. At the end of the day, it is my actions that people will see and actually care about. Nothing more, nothing less. Such is the reality of the situation set out in front of me with tons of empirical evidence.

It is easier if I get to come onto a blank screen, and start typing out my mind. I do not have to care if the screen likes what I am thinking, or will my actions actually affect the screen in any other way.

The down side to actually establishing human contact with anyone in hope that they will be able to solve your problems for you, is that you do not really know what is installed for you on the other side of the conversation.

Maybe you'll feel better, maybe not. Then you start adding 'bonus counters' to what is regarded as 'level of closeness of a friend' (least I would like the analogy to work, it still sounds rather stupid typing it out xD). And your preciousness of a relationship becomes relative, summing up to the time, the number of encounters you've had, the amount of benefits you've recieved...when in actual fact, the person in front of you is just merely a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Could have even been just a person whom happened to be there at the right time.

Oh well, I better get on with life. Later.

Jon

(Why do I always sign off with "Ah Jon"? I dun know, maybe "Ah" seemed to make me feel that I am more respected in some sense that I made it up to be? Haha, it's just Jon from now on.)