Deep In Thought

Music: Kim Junsung – Granado Espada
Mood: Positive & Worried (How do they get together, I have no real idea XD)
Random Note: I‘m not ready to eat a kangaroo

Today I decided that I must wake up real early to do an entry.

The past few days of lessons have been really taxing! I mean apart from the fact that I tried to pack everything together in 3 days (which meant that I needed to do 5-6 hours of consecutive lessons daily), the lack of internet (it is not here yet as I speak) + text books + printer is kind of driving me insane. There is so much information to absorb…

People-wise, I must say I haven’t been able to really make any friends yet. I mean I do talk to people and some of them are pretty nice, but everyone seems to have their own clicks.

I have a very diverse project group (by that I mean people with different mindsets) for one of my modules and that worries me. I want to try to make the best of it though.

Clubs and societies have yet to start organizing many activities yet, so there is still room to make progress there I guess. I am trying hard to make friends in smaller tutorial groups and remedial sessions (they call it PASS programs).

I finally met 2 random Singaporeans! PEOPLE FROM HOME! T.T Okay, and the really amazing part was that this happened after 6 hours of consecutive lessons (which meant I was totally trying to switch off). Stephanie and Francesca came up to me and said “hi”~ =) I was so happy to finally be able to talk a little more naturally! I sincerely thank them 2 for making that historical moment of ‘breaking’ the human barrier~ (hey this is important to me).

Finally, the most interesting and happy thing on top of all these, I am definitely glad that most of the people I’ve met thought that I was less than 20 XD! Oh yeah!

X and I are slowly getting swarmed with work from school, but we are currently still making some time to watch shows and relax together at home. He’s making dinner sometimes now, and hey! That is a good start for me I guess (that way people will not have to worry too much about me wasting too much time cooking). However, he definitely still has a lot to learn about the kitchen i.e. washing, taking care of equipment etc.

At this point in time, I want to bring out something that I am genuinely concerned about. I do not know if I am too meddlesome for my own good. I can look at situations sometimes and pick out flaws that are ‘obvious’ to myself. In doing so, however, I tend to make my comments and try to make changes to it. After that I will feel terrible because I do not know if I have distanced a relationship…

I am afraid of probing into other people’s business because I hold a real concern for them (this applies to anyone reading this right now). If you actually put me out into the real world, I probably do not hold back my punches as much. Somewhere out there, I am sure someone thinks of me as a stuck up nervous bastard whom just wants to be right all the time.

In the end, all that I am left with the only option of losing a person I really care about because they go on their way with anger that I did not wish for. And I cannot help but always feel that I have made mistakes that I can never undo.

Fact remains that all I ever wanted was just to be safe and made sure things were going to be okay.

(This feels so familiar; I actually think I have had such an entry before in my last blogs.)

I just have to deal with myself on this matter yeah? Well, till next time!

Ah Jon