Doors

Music: Olivia Ong – All Out Of Love
Mood: Terribly Depressed
Random Note: It is so cold.

It is exactly 3 am and I am unable to get back to sleep. I was awakened by a huge 'boom' sound.

I’ve had a really rough day at school. You know, one of those days when everything seems too big for you to handle? Well it really sucks.

I really wish there was somewhere I can pour out my troubles to. I am way passed the stage of fear and pain, and that is how I actually managed to get myself on to do an entry. I figured that there will always be this mean to get some steam out of my system. And honestly, I miss so many things tonight…

I am a natural worrier, and this becomes prominent whenever I am down. I am still learning how to give things time, space and chance. I assessed the possibilities of reaching this goal, and figured that I have to be able to close the doors to emotions. I cannot allow myself to feel, because that is my greatest weakness.

I just feel that I have messed up big time. It is almost like the inside of me lies this really untidy and wrecked party room, and I am just shoving everybody out of the door, and figuring out so hard how to clean up the place. I am so tired…and I am just drowning in the garbage.

No one can come in because the doors are locked. I do feel comforted though, because I know my little party room exists. I am not rich enough to hire a cleaner to help me out. All I can do is to wait for the moment to come when I will regain my common senses. I am cold and worn out, and all I want is just a paracetamol to remove the pain…

Guess I should stock up on pain killers XD

I will be trying to do some catching up on school work today. Need to seriously mug back the past 2 weeks worth of work. I want to get that grade I have set out for. Just wish my mind will be able to absorb the knowledge necessary.

I will be trying to move around by myself one of these days! They city is so vibrant and there is so much to see~ Till next time again I guess.

Ah Jon